Bored as all hell

I love my Wii, but I'll be damned if I'm not completely bored with it right now. The last quality title I bought was Mario Kart Wii, which is a blast, but I'm itching for more stuff to play. Third-party titles, WiiWare, whatever...I need something new. But I look at the titles available, and apart from the games I already had, there's nothing out there that even remotely garners my interest. I've recently played through Super Metroid for the first time, so the Prime series seems a bit interesting. But God, I'm desperate for anything to play. I've even contemplated buying a 360 or a PS3. Probably a 360, since it's cheaper and such, and Banjo-Kazooie looks like fun. I guess I'm looking for a game with lots of platformers, seeing as how that's my thing.

I dunno. Hurry up and come up with something, Nintendo.

E3

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything more than a minor rant, but it's high time I got to the one thing that's bugging the hell out of me - E3.

In all honesty, the show will probably be dead in a few years. Especially if things continue to go the way they are now. It seems that now the game companies are focusing on investors, rather than potential customers. What we were given in the Nintendo conference was graph after graph with a few little snippets of games we don't care about in between.

The casual gamer must have been the object of the game makers' affection this time around, as little to no new games were announced with a whole bunch of filler covered in between. Video downloading services, unnecessary hardware, a new user interface - it's all just pure bullcrap. And if the only footage you have of a new game is a vague trailer, you might as well wait until an event comes for which you're prepared.

The most exciting announcement of the show was that Final Fantasy XIII is coming to the XBox, which a lot of people apparently saw coming. Everything else was either already known to the public or pretty frickin' vague. MAG was meant to impress, but just left me scratching my head in confusion. I don't see a playing field with 128 players as being that much fun.

Nobody was really prepared for E3 this year. Gone were the flashy showcases, demo booths, and superfluous cleavage. This E3 was a shell of shows past, and we, the gamers, were shafted by the ESA and their inability to tolerate a good time.

Sonic and the Black Knight

For the love of God, Sega. What's next? Sonic meets Don Knotts?

But at the same time, at least Sonic fans are getting more than one game EVERY FIVE YEARS. Hint hint, Nintendo.

Nintendo E3 Conference

It's the biggest gaming event of the year, and the best you can come up with is a new Animal Crossing game? I'm pretty disappointed at this year's showing. Aside from the GTA DS game, there was pretty much nothing exciting about that conference.

A lot of talk has been circulating regarding the hypocrisy that is what I'd like to call "sports geekery". My friend Fausto linked to a video giving its treatise on the subject here. It's toward the end of the post. It'll be worth a watch.

Let me just say this: I am an avid Pittsburgh Steelers fan and Los Angeles Angels supporter, so I've witnessed what the state of sports fandom has become.

With the advent of fantasy football, sports statistics and miscellany have become more prominent than ever before. It tends to get a little bit irritating. In my first year of college, I was called a "geek" and a "vidiot" for my devotion to video games and the knowledge thereof, yet my suite mates prattled on about how many yards LaDainian Tomlinson got this weekend or whether they should start Peyton Manning or Donovan McNabb. Honestly, dudes, you're wasting just as much time as I am, and accomplishing absolutely nothing, as I am. I do participate in Fantasy Football, but in all honesty I'm not a very big fan of it. I was raised to be a Steelers fan, and let me tell you, it hurt my soul to have to rely on Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys or Corey Dillon of the New England Patriots to help me win. I hate both of those teams.

But it's not just the hypocrisy of it all. What really gets to me is the cowardice that comes with being a casual fan and fantasy football player. Those who only jump into the world of football to play FF tend to do what many sports fans consider blasphemy - jump bandwagons. As people draft their players and such, they start to become more "neutral", and they get to pick and choose which teams they root for. Sure, they'll do the noble thing and root for the underdog most of the time, but occasionally they'll root for a team that everyone hates just because they're doing something that hasn't been done before. Take, for example, Super Bowl XLII, in which the undefeated Patriots battled the underdog New York Giants. Out of 7 people, only 2 rooted for the Giants. Those people were my buddy Anurag and I, who were both pretty hardcore fans of our respective teams. We each saw our teams win a Super Bowl in succession, the Steelers winning SBXL and the Colts winning SBXLI. We both felt the anguish at seeing our teams lose to the hated Patriots, with their overexposed, oft-fellated by the media quarterback and slap-on-the-wrist punishment for cheating their way to an undefeated season. The Giants had been abandoned by their star running back a year before, and their aging star defensive end was months away from retiring. Well, geez, I digress. Long story short, the rest of my chums wanted to witness a completed undefeated season, no matter how shady the character of that accomplishment would be, simply because the Patriots' players had proven to be studs in the fantasy world. They, much like the media does on a daily basis, had sided with the guys who have proven they can win.

"But Martin! Be fair, be just! There's no need to needlessly hate an entire organization just because of a few little accusations! HGH use, videotaping, I'm sure everyone does it!" Well, my friend, as any Oakland Raiders or Cleveland Browns fan can tell you, it's not up to the fans to be fair and just to other teams. Leave sportsmanship to the sportsmen, and leave the FANATICISM to the FANATICS, or, for short, FANS! It's up to the fans of one team to make the other team miserable. It's the way sports have been for decades.

So if you're a sports fan, BE A SPORTS FAN! Don't devolve into the statistics-quoting, fence-standing morons that pretend to root for an organization then proceed to root for the teams that you absolutely should not like. Choose your team! Make them feel loved! Make the rest feel like utter garbage! It's the way sports are supposed to be, darn it!

HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!

(By the way, get used to rants like these, but don't expect them all the time.)

Also, E3 in two days! C'mon, new Mario game!

A Mario Retrospective - Part VIII

SUPER MARIO GALAXY

Well, looks like this baby is finally coming to a close. It was fun to really look at all the Mario games in detail, and it really helped me develop a better appreciation of the Mario series. But I'm not quite done yet! I've got one last game to cover, and baby, it sure as hell ain't the least. I'm talking, of course, about Super Mario Galaxy.

Where to begin with this work of art? I'm seriously considering calling this my favorite game of all time. The music, the graphics, the GAMEPLAY! My God, the game is absolutely incredible.

I was pretty bummed when I heard Gamespot gave this a 9.5. They were pretty eager to give MGS4 and GTAIV perfect 10s, and those sure as hell had their problems. Must've been the graphics.

Fanboyism and bitterness aside, the game is considered by many to be Mario's finest, and of course I agree. Let's start with the story.

No surprises here, obviously. Bowser's up to no good again, this time going as far as to steal Peach's whole castle and sending it into space. The kidnapping takes place during the Shooting Star Festival, in which vibrantly colored Star Bits fall from the sky. These star bits are collectible items which come in handy, but I'll get to that later. Mario barges in on the festivities with his doomships from Super Mario Bros. 3 and a gigantic, laser-armed UFO. The UFO carves a hole around the castle, and the doomships carry the castle away. Mario makes the attempt to halt this travesty, but is blasted away by an irritating Magikoopa (those guys are a pain later on in the game). When Mario awakens, he finds himself surrounded by little star-shaped dudes called Lumas and their leader, an odd lady named Rosalina. She rewards Mario with the ability to use a Luma buddy to attack, which becomes Mario's basic move. Rosalina then transports Mario to her Comet Observatory, which has been robbed of its Power Star energy by Bowser. It's up to Mario to restore the Observatory's Star Power so he can reach Bowser's galactic hideout and defeat the evil Koopa King.

The gameplay is the best in the series, hands down. The controls are tight; Mario moves fluidly with the motion of the Control Stick. This time around, Mario's got more moves than ever, with a bevy of flips, jumps, and techniques at the player's disposal. My favorite is the Homing Pound, which is a butt-stomp executed in midair whilst spinning. It seeks out whatever enemy is nearby and obliterates it. The level design allows the player to make use of all the moves in their arsenal.

Mario Galaxy makes a notable divergence from the rest of the Mario series in that coins are not the main currency in the game. Instead we are given tiny multicolored Star Bits, which are apparently delicacies for the Lumas. Star Bits are required in mass amounts in order to advance in the game, as certain Lumas are able to transform into objects that enable you to access otherwise unreachable areas. That isn't a problem, as you'll be knee-deep in the things by the end of the game. We're talking thousands. Collecting fifty Star Bits gives Mario an extra life, much like the coins in Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario 64. It may seem inconvenient on paper, but its execution makes it to where it's not a problem at all.

The music is by far the best in the Mario series. The game utilizes a full orchestra, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it drastically alters the way you enjoy the game. It's one thing to play Mario to the sound of dinky (albeit still enjoyable) MIDI music, but when you're guiding Mario through a distant galaxy with inspirational trumpets blaring and soothing violins playing you on, you just feel more important. The game itself feels important. Heroic. Like you're actually accomplishing something. (Disclaimer: you're not actually accomplishing anything. Sit down.)

Also pretty obvious about this game is the fact that it is, hands-down, the prettiest. The game just looks good from top to bottom. Even with the halfhearted graphical capability of the Wii, Super Mario Galaxy looks better than some of the XBox 360/PS3 titles I've seen. The colors are beautiful and vibrant, and certain little effects make Mario and friends seem a little more real while retaining their cartoonish qualities.

Speaking of Mario and friends, we're introduced to a few more quirky characters here, such as the mysterious Rosalina, who, in my opinion, is pretty interesting. She is, according to the game, a girl who lost her mother to the void of space when she was young, and she has since been looking for her. We're talking hundreds of years, here, people. And she looks like she's in her 20's. Somebody explain that to me. Also introduced are the Lumas, a race of little star people who, as I've interpreted, are pretty much star fetuses. Larvae? I think that sounds a bit more appropriate. The little guys are cute, and they come in multiple forms, including the regular li'l fellas that float around and give you advice, the big, fat, red Lumas that eat your Star Bits and transform into objects that help you along in your quest, stern, black Lumas that show you the map to the entire universe, and the mysterious green Lumas that give you access to some of the hardest levels in the game. Making his return is the insufferable Bowser, Jr., who makes appearances summoning bosses. I thank God that those are the only times we're forced to endure this little abomination.

I don't know if you remember this, but there was a huge controversy over whether Luigi appeared in Super Mario 64. There were fake screenshots galore and some really detailed "tips" on how to unlock the taller brother, but in the end, he was unfortunately nowhere to be found in the game. Well, Super Mario Galaxy makes up for those confusing times, this time including Luigi as a playable character that can be unlocked when Mario collects 120 Stars. Luigi is a little different from Mario, as established in the Mario series by now. He can jump higher and run faster than Mario, but suffers from an unfortunate lack of traction, which makes the second run through the game much more difficult than one may initially imagine. I found myself infuriated time and time again when Luigi would inadvertently careen off a cliff simply because he bought the wrong pair of shoes. Take note: the levels where you're forced to race Dark Luigi to the Star can be painfully difficult if you don't have the controls down. Little guy can RUN.

If you own a Wii, and you don't own this game, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to bash your skull in with your Wiimote. For the love of God, and for your own sake, get this game, rent it, or whatever. No Nintendo experience is complete without Super Mario Galaxy.

Well, there you have it! That's the entire main Mario series, excluding spinoffs. Imagine how many games I'd have to cover if I had included them! Consider the fact that there are 8 Mario Party games, and there are 8 parts to this series. I'd have to at least DOUBLE my output! There's a lot more to explore out there in the Mario universe, but I'll leave that up to you. Thanks for reading (all 1 of you)!

A MARIO RETROSPECTIVE - THE END

A Mario Retrospective - Part VII

NEW SUPER MARIO BROS.

It was a hard call to make the decision whether or not to include this game, but then I realized that this was basically Super Mario Bros. 5, which is what the series started out as to begin with. That, and it was a really fun game anyway. So sure, I'll include it.

This game basically takes everything that was good about the original Super Mario Bros. games and puts it all together, except for the fact that there is no ability to fly. That was kind of a bummer. But other than that, the rest is pretty much pure gaming gold.

Let's start with the music. Well, here's the thing about the music - I'm humming the main theme of the game right now. The music is full of that Mario personality, with all the bounciness and general good vibes you'd expect. Even better about the music is that it tends to affect what goes on in the game. You can tell which beat will affect Mario's surroundings by the weird "bah" note that plays. For example, enemies and items will hop to the beat, and the box monsters in the Sand World will leap high into the air whenever the music approaches the "bah" beat. I thought that whole thing was pretty neat.

The gameplay is pretty much nothing new; it's all classic Mario fare. Though everything is in 3D, the game actually functions on a 2D plane, a la the original Super Mario Bros. games. Mario's been given a few tricks from his 3D excursions, such as the triple jump, executed whilst running, and the wall kick, which entails sliding down a wall and kicking off of it to jump. Mario has once again been given the ability to dash, use a ground pound, and, of course, jump.

Mario's abilities are enhanced when he is given a power-up, as in most earlier Mario games. Perennial favorites the Mushroom, Fireflower and Starman make their triumphant returns to the Mario universe with a few more new powerups make their Mario debut, as well. Technically, we've seen this before in Super Mario 64 DS, but the Mega Mushroom, which turns Mario into a giant wrecking machine, is established here, as is the Mini Mushroom, which shrinks Mario, allowing him to fit into otherwise inaccessible areas. But perhaps the most unique addition to Mario's repertoire is the Koopa Shell, which transforms Mario into a Koopa Troopa. In this form, Mario can build up his speed until he recedes into his shell and slides along the stage. He can also crouch to make himself invulnerable to attacks.

Boss battles are a fun little diversion here, as all of the boss fights are unique and fun in their own way. Each boss takes three hits to defeat, as has been established in the Super Mario series. In between the bosses you'll fight Bowser Jr., the game's primary miniboss. Let me get this out of the way - I don't like this guy. He's fun to fight, sure, but he just makes me feel like the Mario team has jumped the shark. Why not just stick with the original 7 Koopalings? There's a ton of variation right there. It feels like they just kinda killed them all off after Super Mario World. Sure, they showed up in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, but that was the last we've seen of the Koopa Kids.

Minigames kinda sorta make their return in NSMB, as you'll encounter Mushroom Houses in which Toadsworth, the lame mushroom butler, resides. Once inside a Mushroom House, you'll either play one of two games or just be presented with a gigantic block that harbors a Mega Mushroom. You'll find a rotating block containing every powerup in the game in a house with a red roof; in a house with a green roof, you'll play a game in which you'll hit blocks to gain 1-Up mushrooms until you hit a block containing a Bowser card. In a house with an orange and red roof, a la the Mega Mushroom, you'll find the block containing a Mega Mushroom. Kinda makes sense, doesn't it?

The game is big, with 8 worlds containing at least 10 levels, and with lots and lots to uncover. You'll even have to access certain worlds by discovering secret exits. If you can manage to defeat two of the game's bosses as Tiny Mario (via a Mini Mushroom), you'll unlock those secret worlds.

Once you've beaten the game (or once you've looked up NSMB's cheat codes), you'll learn the ability to play as Luigi, which is as easy as pressing L, R, and A as you select the file in which you'll play. There's no difference between Mario and Luigi in this game, but it's a cool little novelty.

If you want a true-blue Mario game but are strapped for cash, look no further than here, as it's definitely worth whatever money you put into it. Not only is it genuine Mario goodness, but it's also portable. Sounds worth the price for me.