I'm feeling a change in the tides of fate in the video game world. On an overall scale, it's not that significant, but for the Mario and Sonic fanboy camps, it's huge.
Consider this: Sonic fans can look forward to two new titles in the coming year: Sonic Unleashed and Sonic Chronicles: the Dark Brotherhood. Now, you might ask yourself how that threatens Mario's current position as pretty much the mascot for video games in general. Sonic Unleashed has that crappy Wolf Sonic mode and Sonic Chronicles is just an RPG for the DS. Well, the fact of the matter is that they're freaking GAMES. And Sonic fans are GETTING them in a time shorter than 3 years. As a matter of fact, they don't seem half bad. SC is being developed by BioWare, and Sonic Unleashed looks fun as hell. They seem like pretty solid quality games. Meanwhile, Mario fans are forced to wait another 3 or so years before the next Mario title and put up with crap like Mario Super Sluggers. I'm still waiting for Super Mario Awww, Who Gives a Crap, Here's Some Idiotic Game With More Crappy Characters That You Don't Care About. Through Nintendo's bumbling, Mario has become what Mario fans have always feared...a whore.
Now I know Mario's been whored out for a while now, but at least those games were good. I love Mario Tennis and Golf, and the Mario RPGs are always an entertaining distraction. But recently, we've been subjected to stuff like Sluggers and Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, which just seem to lack the finesse and effort put into earlier Mario spinoff titles. You know who else had their games decline in popularity as his rival garnered momentum? Sonic. That's right. It may not happen, but it's a possibility that Sonic may overtake Mario in popularity by the end of the decade and become the new face of the gaming industry. Um...again.
But Nintendo can blame no one but itself for Mario's faltering. They've spent all this time pandering to the "casual gamer" and cheapening the overall experience of video games that Mario, not to mention all of their other core franchises, has been in serious danger of falling out of the public eye, and Nintendo out of their audience's favor. I honestly don't know what they can do to revive their old franchises, but they'd better think of something before some of their fans (yours truly included) jump off their rapidly sinking ship.

I want Madden. Need a PS3 or a 360 for that. So...there you go, Nintendo. That's one reason for me to jump off. Now give me a damn reason to stay on.

Bored as all hell

I love my Wii, but I'll be damned if I'm not completely bored with it right now. The last quality title I bought was Mario Kart Wii, which is a blast, but I'm itching for more stuff to play. Third-party titles, WiiWare, whatever...I need something new. But I look at the titles available, and apart from the games I already had, there's nothing out there that even remotely garners my interest. I've recently played through Super Metroid for the first time, so the Prime series seems a bit interesting. But God, I'm desperate for anything to play. I've even contemplated buying a 360 or a PS3. Probably a 360, since it's cheaper and such, and Banjo-Kazooie looks like fun. I guess I'm looking for a game with lots of platformers, seeing as how that's my thing.

I dunno. Hurry up and come up with something, Nintendo.

E3

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything more than a minor rant, but it's high time I got to the one thing that's bugging the hell out of me - E3.

In all honesty, the show will probably be dead in a few years. Especially if things continue to go the way they are now. It seems that now the game companies are focusing on investors, rather than potential customers. What we were given in the Nintendo conference was graph after graph with a few little snippets of games we don't care about in between.

The casual gamer must have been the object of the game makers' affection this time around, as little to no new games were announced with a whole bunch of filler covered in between. Video downloading services, unnecessary hardware, a new user interface - it's all just pure bullcrap. And if the only footage you have of a new game is a vague trailer, you might as well wait until an event comes for which you're prepared.

The most exciting announcement of the show was that Final Fantasy XIII is coming to the XBox, which a lot of people apparently saw coming. Everything else was either already known to the public or pretty frickin' vague. MAG was meant to impress, but just left me scratching my head in confusion. I don't see a playing field with 128 players as being that much fun.

Nobody was really prepared for E3 this year. Gone were the flashy showcases, demo booths, and superfluous cleavage. This E3 was a shell of shows past, and we, the gamers, were shafted by the ESA and their inability to tolerate a good time.

Sonic and the Black Knight

For the love of God, Sega. What's next? Sonic meets Don Knotts?

But at the same time, at least Sonic fans are getting more than one game EVERY FIVE YEARS. Hint hint, Nintendo.

Nintendo E3 Conference

It's the biggest gaming event of the year, and the best you can come up with is a new Animal Crossing game? I'm pretty disappointed at this year's showing. Aside from the GTA DS game, there was pretty much nothing exciting about that conference.

A lot of talk has been circulating regarding the hypocrisy that is what I'd like to call "sports geekery". My friend Fausto linked to a video giving its treatise on the subject here. It's toward the end of the post. It'll be worth a watch.

Let me just say this: I am an avid Pittsburgh Steelers fan and Los Angeles Angels supporter, so I've witnessed what the state of sports fandom has become.

With the advent of fantasy football, sports statistics and miscellany have become more prominent than ever before. It tends to get a little bit irritating. In my first year of college, I was called a "geek" and a "vidiot" for my devotion to video games and the knowledge thereof, yet my suite mates prattled on about how many yards LaDainian Tomlinson got this weekend or whether they should start Peyton Manning or Donovan McNabb. Honestly, dudes, you're wasting just as much time as I am, and accomplishing absolutely nothing, as I am. I do participate in Fantasy Football, but in all honesty I'm not a very big fan of it. I was raised to be a Steelers fan, and let me tell you, it hurt my soul to have to rely on Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys or Corey Dillon of the New England Patriots to help me win. I hate both of those teams.

But it's not just the hypocrisy of it all. What really gets to me is the cowardice that comes with being a casual fan and fantasy football player. Those who only jump into the world of football to play FF tend to do what many sports fans consider blasphemy - jump bandwagons. As people draft their players and such, they start to become more "neutral", and they get to pick and choose which teams they root for. Sure, they'll do the noble thing and root for the underdog most of the time, but occasionally they'll root for a team that everyone hates just because they're doing something that hasn't been done before. Take, for example, Super Bowl XLII, in which the undefeated Patriots battled the underdog New York Giants. Out of 7 people, only 2 rooted for the Giants. Those people were my buddy Anurag and I, who were both pretty hardcore fans of our respective teams. We each saw our teams win a Super Bowl in succession, the Steelers winning SBXL and the Colts winning SBXLI. We both felt the anguish at seeing our teams lose to the hated Patriots, with their overexposed, oft-fellated by the media quarterback and slap-on-the-wrist punishment for cheating their way to an undefeated season. The Giants had been abandoned by their star running back a year before, and their aging star defensive end was months away from retiring. Well, geez, I digress. Long story short, the rest of my chums wanted to witness a completed undefeated season, no matter how shady the character of that accomplishment would be, simply because the Patriots' players had proven to be studs in the fantasy world. They, much like the media does on a daily basis, had sided with the guys who have proven they can win.

"But Martin! Be fair, be just! There's no need to needlessly hate an entire organization just because of a few little accusations! HGH use, videotaping, I'm sure everyone does it!" Well, my friend, as any Oakland Raiders or Cleveland Browns fan can tell you, it's not up to the fans to be fair and just to other teams. Leave sportsmanship to the sportsmen, and leave the FANATICISM to the FANATICS, or, for short, FANS! It's up to the fans of one team to make the other team miserable. It's the way sports have been for decades.

So if you're a sports fan, BE A SPORTS FAN! Don't devolve into the statistics-quoting, fence-standing morons that pretend to root for an organization then proceed to root for the teams that you absolutely should not like. Choose your team! Make them feel loved! Make the rest feel like utter garbage! It's the way sports are supposed to be, darn it!

HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!

(By the way, get used to rants like these, but don't expect them all the time.)

Also, E3 in two days! C'mon, new Mario game!

A Mario Retrospective - Part VIII

SUPER MARIO GALAXY

Well, looks like this baby is finally coming to a close. It was fun to really look at all the Mario games in detail, and it really helped me develop a better appreciation of the Mario series. But I'm not quite done yet! I've got one last game to cover, and baby, it sure as hell ain't the least. I'm talking, of course, about Super Mario Galaxy.

Where to begin with this work of art? I'm seriously considering calling this my favorite game of all time. The music, the graphics, the GAMEPLAY! My God, the game is absolutely incredible.

I was pretty bummed when I heard Gamespot gave this a 9.5. They were pretty eager to give MGS4 and GTAIV perfect 10s, and those sure as hell had their problems. Must've been the graphics.

Fanboyism and bitterness aside, the game is considered by many to be Mario's finest, and of course I agree. Let's start with the story.

No surprises here, obviously. Bowser's up to no good again, this time going as far as to steal Peach's whole castle and sending it into space. The kidnapping takes place during the Shooting Star Festival, in which vibrantly colored Star Bits fall from the sky. These star bits are collectible items which come in handy, but I'll get to that later. Mario barges in on the festivities with his doomships from Super Mario Bros. 3 and a gigantic, laser-armed UFO. The UFO carves a hole around the castle, and the doomships carry the castle away. Mario makes the attempt to halt this travesty, but is blasted away by an irritating Magikoopa (those guys are a pain later on in the game). When Mario awakens, he finds himself surrounded by little star-shaped dudes called Lumas and their leader, an odd lady named Rosalina. She rewards Mario with the ability to use a Luma buddy to attack, which becomes Mario's basic move. Rosalina then transports Mario to her Comet Observatory, which has been robbed of its Power Star energy by Bowser. It's up to Mario to restore the Observatory's Star Power so he can reach Bowser's galactic hideout and defeat the evil Koopa King.

The gameplay is the best in the series, hands down. The controls are tight; Mario moves fluidly with the motion of the Control Stick. This time around, Mario's got more moves than ever, with a bevy of flips, jumps, and techniques at the player's disposal. My favorite is the Homing Pound, which is a butt-stomp executed in midair whilst spinning. It seeks out whatever enemy is nearby and obliterates it. The level design allows the player to make use of all the moves in their arsenal.

Mario Galaxy makes a notable divergence from the rest of the Mario series in that coins are not the main currency in the game. Instead we are given tiny multicolored Star Bits, which are apparently delicacies for the Lumas. Star Bits are required in mass amounts in order to advance in the game, as certain Lumas are able to transform into objects that enable you to access otherwise unreachable areas. That isn't a problem, as you'll be knee-deep in the things by the end of the game. We're talking thousands. Collecting fifty Star Bits gives Mario an extra life, much like the coins in Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario 64. It may seem inconvenient on paper, but its execution makes it to where it's not a problem at all.

The music is by far the best in the Mario series. The game utilizes a full orchestra, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it drastically alters the way you enjoy the game. It's one thing to play Mario to the sound of dinky (albeit still enjoyable) MIDI music, but when you're guiding Mario through a distant galaxy with inspirational trumpets blaring and soothing violins playing you on, you just feel more important. The game itself feels important. Heroic. Like you're actually accomplishing something. (Disclaimer: you're not actually accomplishing anything. Sit down.)

Also pretty obvious about this game is the fact that it is, hands-down, the prettiest. The game just looks good from top to bottom. Even with the halfhearted graphical capability of the Wii, Super Mario Galaxy looks better than some of the XBox 360/PS3 titles I've seen. The colors are beautiful and vibrant, and certain little effects make Mario and friends seem a little more real while retaining their cartoonish qualities.

Speaking of Mario and friends, we're introduced to a few more quirky characters here, such as the mysterious Rosalina, who, in my opinion, is pretty interesting. She is, according to the game, a girl who lost her mother to the void of space when she was young, and she has since been looking for her. We're talking hundreds of years, here, people. And she looks like she's in her 20's. Somebody explain that to me. Also introduced are the Lumas, a race of little star people who, as I've interpreted, are pretty much star fetuses. Larvae? I think that sounds a bit more appropriate. The little guys are cute, and they come in multiple forms, including the regular li'l fellas that float around and give you advice, the big, fat, red Lumas that eat your Star Bits and transform into objects that help you along in your quest, stern, black Lumas that show you the map to the entire universe, and the mysterious green Lumas that give you access to some of the hardest levels in the game. Making his return is the insufferable Bowser, Jr., who makes appearances summoning bosses. I thank God that those are the only times we're forced to endure this little abomination.

I don't know if you remember this, but there was a huge controversy over whether Luigi appeared in Super Mario 64. There were fake screenshots galore and some really detailed "tips" on how to unlock the taller brother, but in the end, he was unfortunately nowhere to be found in the game. Well, Super Mario Galaxy makes up for those confusing times, this time including Luigi as a playable character that can be unlocked when Mario collects 120 Stars. Luigi is a little different from Mario, as established in the Mario series by now. He can jump higher and run faster than Mario, but suffers from an unfortunate lack of traction, which makes the second run through the game much more difficult than one may initially imagine. I found myself infuriated time and time again when Luigi would inadvertently careen off a cliff simply because he bought the wrong pair of shoes. Take note: the levels where you're forced to race Dark Luigi to the Star can be painfully difficult if you don't have the controls down. Little guy can RUN.

If you own a Wii, and you don't own this game, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to bash your skull in with your Wiimote. For the love of God, and for your own sake, get this game, rent it, or whatever. No Nintendo experience is complete without Super Mario Galaxy.

Well, there you have it! That's the entire main Mario series, excluding spinoffs. Imagine how many games I'd have to cover if I had included them! Consider the fact that there are 8 Mario Party games, and there are 8 parts to this series. I'd have to at least DOUBLE my output! There's a lot more to explore out there in the Mario universe, but I'll leave that up to you. Thanks for reading (all 1 of you)!

A MARIO RETROSPECTIVE - THE END

A Mario Retrospective - Part VII

NEW SUPER MARIO BROS.

It was a hard call to make the decision whether or not to include this game, but then I realized that this was basically Super Mario Bros. 5, which is what the series started out as to begin with. That, and it was a really fun game anyway. So sure, I'll include it.

This game basically takes everything that was good about the original Super Mario Bros. games and puts it all together, except for the fact that there is no ability to fly. That was kind of a bummer. But other than that, the rest is pretty much pure gaming gold.

Let's start with the music. Well, here's the thing about the music - I'm humming the main theme of the game right now. The music is full of that Mario personality, with all the bounciness and general good vibes you'd expect. Even better about the music is that it tends to affect what goes on in the game. You can tell which beat will affect Mario's surroundings by the weird "bah" note that plays. For example, enemies and items will hop to the beat, and the box monsters in the Sand World will leap high into the air whenever the music approaches the "bah" beat. I thought that whole thing was pretty neat.

The gameplay is pretty much nothing new; it's all classic Mario fare. Though everything is in 3D, the game actually functions on a 2D plane, a la the original Super Mario Bros. games. Mario's been given a few tricks from his 3D excursions, such as the triple jump, executed whilst running, and the wall kick, which entails sliding down a wall and kicking off of it to jump. Mario has once again been given the ability to dash, use a ground pound, and, of course, jump.

Mario's abilities are enhanced when he is given a power-up, as in most earlier Mario games. Perennial favorites the Mushroom, Fireflower and Starman make their triumphant returns to the Mario universe with a few more new powerups make their Mario debut, as well. Technically, we've seen this before in Super Mario 64 DS, but the Mega Mushroom, which turns Mario into a giant wrecking machine, is established here, as is the Mini Mushroom, which shrinks Mario, allowing him to fit into otherwise inaccessible areas. But perhaps the most unique addition to Mario's repertoire is the Koopa Shell, which transforms Mario into a Koopa Troopa. In this form, Mario can build up his speed until he recedes into his shell and slides along the stage. He can also crouch to make himself invulnerable to attacks.

Boss battles are a fun little diversion here, as all of the boss fights are unique and fun in their own way. Each boss takes three hits to defeat, as has been established in the Super Mario series. In between the bosses you'll fight Bowser Jr., the game's primary miniboss. Let me get this out of the way - I don't like this guy. He's fun to fight, sure, but he just makes me feel like the Mario team has jumped the shark. Why not just stick with the original 7 Koopalings? There's a ton of variation right there. It feels like they just kinda killed them all off after Super Mario World. Sure, they showed up in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, but that was the last we've seen of the Koopa Kids.

Minigames kinda sorta make their return in NSMB, as you'll encounter Mushroom Houses in which Toadsworth, the lame mushroom butler, resides. Once inside a Mushroom House, you'll either play one of two games or just be presented with a gigantic block that harbors a Mega Mushroom. You'll find a rotating block containing every powerup in the game in a house with a red roof; in a house with a green roof, you'll play a game in which you'll hit blocks to gain 1-Up mushrooms until you hit a block containing a Bowser card. In a house with an orange and red roof, a la the Mega Mushroom, you'll find the block containing a Mega Mushroom. Kinda makes sense, doesn't it?

The game is big, with 8 worlds containing at least 10 levels, and with lots and lots to uncover. You'll even have to access certain worlds by discovering secret exits. If you can manage to defeat two of the game's bosses as Tiny Mario (via a Mini Mushroom), you'll unlock those secret worlds.

Once you've beaten the game (or once you've looked up NSMB's cheat codes), you'll learn the ability to play as Luigi, which is as easy as pressing L, R, and A as you select the file in which you'll play. There's no difference between Mario and Luigi in this game, but it's a cool little novelty.

If you want a true-blue Mario game but are strapped for cash, look no further than here, as it's definitely worth whatever money you put into it. Not only is it genuine Mario goodness, but it's also portable. Sounds worth the price for me.

A Mario Retrospective - Part VI

SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE

This game didn't exactly do much to advance the series. Need proof? I almost skipped straight to Super Mario Galaxy after Super Mario 64. This is probably my least favorite game of the series, but that's not to say I didn't like it. As a Mario game, it was kind of a disappointment, but as a standalone game it was pretty darn good and a lot of fun.

Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? We'll start, as usual, with the story. This time around, Princess-saving isn't exactly the motive for everything right off the bat. Instead, we meet Mario, Peach and a new, crappy character, Toadsworth, flying into Delfino Airport on the beautiful island of Isle Delfino. Mario's earned a vacation from all the princess-rescuing hubbub of the Mushroom Kingdom, so a dolphin-shaped island apparently tickled his fancy. Well, they arrive, and as soon as the plane is vacated it turns out that Mario is already a wanted criminal. Of course Mario's not really the culprit; a Mario doppelganger has been carousing around the island spreading multicolored, toxic graffiti. As a result of the filth, the island's guardians, the Shine Sprites, have left, leaving darkness in their wake. After being arrested, Mario is forced to clean up the island and bring back the Shine Sprites with the aid of the water pump FLUDD. Turns out the doppelganger Mario is really Bowser's son in disguise, and he thinks Peach is his mother. (???) He is determined to kidnap the Princess and make his father happy by getting his mother back. So yeah. There's that whole awkward thing.

The gameplay itself is, to be honest, frustrating. You'll often find Mario doing things you didn't tell him to do. Mario's movements are often jerky, and the gimmicky FLUDD sometimes takes that Mario feel away from the game. In fact, the general consensus seems to be that the best part of the game comes when they take away FLUDD, and Mario is forced to navigate complex platforming levels by himself. I follow that line of thought, as those parts of the game are the most refreshing. To get myself reacquainted with the game (it's been awhile), I decided to play one level, and all I can say is I don't think I'll be doing that level for a while. I was just plain frustrated the whole time. You'll find that grate-climbing, once a refreshing, fun addition to Super Mario World, can be really trying on the nerves. The game really suffers in terms of gameplay.

The sound of the game is also less than impressive; though sound is crisp and clear, it just doesn't come across as very memorable. In fact, some of the music is annoying, like Pinna Park and Ricco Harbor. The music for the few "secret" levels is probably the best, as it's a cute little take on the original Super Mario Bros. theme song. The rest is just, as they say, "meh".

The graphics! That's where the game excels. It's bright, beautiful, and intricately laid out. You have the option toward the end of the game of wearing sunglasses, which darkens the screen, but I just can't wear them in good conscience. It doesn't do the game justice to dim the colors, as those are easily the best parts of the game.

I think the most infuriating part of the game, though, comes in the form of blue coins, ten of which will earn you a Shine Sprite. You need to collect all of these coins in order to fully complete the game, which is a drag since it's hard to keep track of the coins you've collected. It seems kind of lazy.

The game isn't exactly a bright spot in the Mario series, but it was good enough to tide us over until New Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Galaxy. So I say, "Fair enough, Super Mario Sunshine. You did a perfectly adequate job."

Ugh...

June/July means fireworks late at night. Fireworks late at night means little sleep for me. The chain reaction continues from there.

Expect the sixth part of the Mario retrospective, Super Mario Sunshine, sometime this week.

A Mario Retrospective - Part V

Super Mario 64
Lo and behold, mere mortals! Bow your heads in shame, as you could never accomplish what this 64-bit piece of hardware did for 3D platforming, and the game industry as a whole! I speak, of course, of Super Mario 64, one of Miyamoto’s greatest achievements and one of the greatest games of all time (Notice a pattern with these Mario games?).
I would have included Yoshi’s Island here; after all, it is subtitled Super Mario World 2. However, I could never do that game justice, as I never owned it for the SNES, and despite the fact that I own the Game Boy Advance version, I just don’t feel acquainted enough with the game to delve deeply into it.
SM64 is another story. The game is absolutely huge, and by God, I’ve played it so many times I nearly want to puke whenever I hear “Thank you so much for-to playing my game-a.”
The story follows the core storyline established in earlier games, i.e. Princess Peach has been kidnapped. The Princess invites Mario over to her castle to have some cake, and Mario shows up only to find a deserted castle occupied only by the creepy laughter of Bowser. It turns out Bowser has hijacked the castle and robbed it of its power stars, and it’s up to Mario to defeat Bowser, restore the castle’s power and rescue the Princess. We’ve seen stuff like this before.
The game spans several worlds, each containing 7 stars, and a few bonus areas, each containing a variable number of stars as well. There is an assigned task to accomplish for each star in the game, ranging from defeating a boss to simply collecting 100 coins in the level. There are 120 total power stars to collect; when you collect all of them, you’re rewarded with a slightly different ending and 100 lives from Yoshi, who resides at the top of the castle.
Mario is armed with more than his jump this time around. The familiar Super Mushroom/Fire Flower tandem from the earlier Mario games has been eliminated this time around, making way for the more modern Cap system, which features the Wing Cap, Metal Cap and Vanish Cap. The Wing Cap famously gives Mario the ability to fly by either executing a triple jump or being fired out of a cannon. The Metal Cap turns Mario into living metal, making him invulnerable to enemies and allowing him to survive underwater or in a cloud of poison gas. The Vanish Cap makes Mario, well, vanish, allowing him to pass through enemies and certain walls. Mario has also been gifted with new athletic abilities, such as a mastery of punches, kicks, flips, and breakdancing maneuvers. Of course, Mario’s trademark jump can still be used as a potent weapon.
The boss fights make up one of my favorite aspects of the game, as they’re more varied and creative than ever before in the series. Each boss is assigned a different strategy, ranging from picking up and tossing King Bob-omb or pushing the Big Bully into the sea of lava in Lethal Lava Land. The three battles with Bowser are the most fun and challenging, with a lot of thumb endurance and accuracy needed to take down the big guy. The first battle is pretty easy; Bowser moves slowly and practically presents his tail to be grabbed so you can swing him around. The second battle takes place over a lava pit, with the arena wobbling as Bowser’s weight pounds down upon it. Bowser’s a lot faster here, so you’ll have to be pretty dogged in your pursuit of his tail. In these first two battles, hurling Bowser into a bomb lining the arena once will defeat him. The third and final Bowser fight is by far the most intense; Mario has to fling Bowser into a bomb three times to secure victory. This time around, though, Bowser is faster than ever with a formidable arsenal of fire-based attacks, with many of them lingering to pester you as you pursue Bowser’s tail. After you’ve hit Bowser twice, the arena will collapse into a giant star shape, making it more difficult to throw the Koopa King into the bombs.
The interesting thing about this game is that it’s the first game in the main Mario series to give Mario a voice. It’s the debut of Charles Martinet in a true-blue Mario game, and from the beginning the man gave the little plumber a lot of soul. His voice work is goofy, but just human enough to make you feel bad when Mario gets hurt. The “huulgh” sound Mario makes when he takes a hit is both hilarious and a little shame-inducing when you hear it. When Mario falls a big distance, he utters a silly shout that makes it hard to realize you’ve just sent a man careening to his death.
Hands down, the game is good. Just good in every aspect. A little glitchy, sure, but this was the N64. The early years of the N64. Glitches at that point were inevitable. Of all the 3D games of the mid-90s, Mario 64 was easily the most polished and enjoyable, and continues to be one of my favorite games to this day.
Up next, we’ll deal with the other black sheep of the Mario family (more like the redheaded stepchild), Super Mario Sunshine. We’re almost done!

Mario, where art thou?

So, with little to no Mario news these days, I have to say that Sonic Unleashed looks harder and harder to screw up. I've been a bit lazy lately, but I hope to finish up the Mario Retrospective soon.

A Mario Retrospective - Part IV

Super Mario World

This game is what really got me back into the Mario universe. After my NES broke, I was exposed to nothing but the original 3 Sonic games for a few years. When I got my SNES, it came with Super Mario All-Stars with Super Mario World, featuring my old favorites in an updated form, along with the all-new game Super Mario World.

The Japanese version of the game features the subtitle Super Mario Bros. 4. I think that’s pretty cool.

The story of the game follows Mario, Luigi, and Peach as they take a vacation in Dinosaur Land. As always, Bowser finds a way to kidnap the princess and ruin everything for everyone. This time around, Mario and Luigi have help, as the friendly dinosaur Yoshi joins the hunt for the missing princess.

Even compared to SMB3, this game is gigantic. Featuring over 90 levels, this monster occupied my time for a couple weeks, at least. The 7 worlds of the game include Yoshi’s Island, Donut Plains, Vanilla Dome, the Forest of Illusion, Chocolate Island and the Valley of Bowser, among other, smaller areas, including Butter Bridge.

In each world there resides at least one boss, with the Valley of Bowser housing both Larry Koopa and Bowser. As you can probably guess, the seven bosses in the game are all Bowser’s Koopa Kids, with the final boss being Bowser himself. The bosses can be found in their respective castles, with fortresses housing lesser boss Reznor also dotting the landscape. The boss battles are more varied here than in the earlier Mario games, but they do tend to become repetitive. Six of the boss fights fall into one of three categories: Iggy and Larry Koopa must be knocked into a lava pit from a teetering platform, Wendy and Lemmy must be bopped on the head as they pop out of pipes, and Morton and Roy Koopa walk around an enclosed arena, climbing up the walls and walking on the ceiling. Ludwig von Koopa, the apparent black sheep, is fought in an open arena as he jumps around and shoots fireballs at your plumber of choice.

The enemies in the game are even more creative than in previous installments, such as the segmented caterpillar Wiggler, reinvented Flying Hammer Bros., and Chargin’ Chuck, the football-playing turtle. The variety of enemies keeps things fresh throughout the game to the very end. And let me just say, I hate Rip Van Fish with a passion. Those were the little jerks that slept until you swam by, when all hell broke loose. I remember whole platoons of those guys chasing after me. But I digress…

My favorite part of the game has to be the Forest of Illusion. There are so many ways to finish the world’s levels that I find myself refusing to rest until I’ve found all the exits. The levels themselves are a lot of fun, too, challenging players as they search for all the nooks and crannies they can.

If someone you know thinks that Mario games are too easy, you have three choices. You can a.) agree with them (jerk), b.) make them play the original Super Mario Bros. 2, or c.) direct them to the Special Zone of this game, in which you are forced to endure eight levels of pure gaming hell. I must have spent hours upon hours trying to beat these levels; I certainly lost life after life on that ice level. Jeez.

In terms of pure gaming goodness, it doesn’t get much better than Super Mario World. To correct what I said earlier, about SMB3 being the pinnacle of the series, here’s a different idea: SMB3 completely revolutionized the series, then SMW revolutionized it again. After a few playthroughs, I’ve come to realize that Super Mario World is a lot more fun than I found it as a kid. If you want the whole Mario experience summed up in one game, look no further than here.

Super Mario 64, yet another reinvention of the Mario franchise (and gaming in general), is up next.

Regarding Blue Redemption

In an earlier post I called out Sonic the Hedgehog and explained, in my opinion, why he tanked. Well, to be honest, the idea came from these guys, who offer much better coverage of Sonic's fall from grace. They even cover Sonic Extreme, a Mario Galaxy-esque game that never saw the light of day. It's all a good read, and I highly recommend it to you.

The Rise, Fall, and Deafening Crash of Sonic the Hedgehog

A Mario Retrospective - Part III

Super Mario Bros. 3

In 1988, Nintendo unleashed a game upon the world that would forever change the course of the Mario series, and, in its own special way, the world of video games as a whole. The game, Super Mario Bros. 3, took Mario to whole new levels, including giving the portly little guy the gift of flight.

I’ve played SMB3 about 70 times over the last few weeks, perhaps to the point that I’ve grown tired of it. Whatever the case, those play-throughs really gave me a closer look into the game’s more subtle nuances, and a greater appreciation of just how good the game is.

First of all, the amount of levels in the game was absolutely unheard of in the Mario series. Breaking the earlier established format of 7 or 8 worlds consisting of 3 or 4 levels, Mario 3’s 8 maps contained a minimum of 8 levels, including fortresses and airship levels. And unlike the original Super Mario Bros., the game featured levels that were all unique and original, each offering a new experience.

The Sun is apparently opposed to tornado-hopping.

The game’s music is superb, with each song upbeat and catchy. I find myself going over the music in my head over and over every time I hear it, sometimes to the point where it gets maddening. But it’s ok, I’m a Mario fanboy. Most notable about the game’s music is the revised version of the classic Mario underground theme, which adds a kick-ass beat to those memorable notes.

The game also features the ability to store items in an inventory that, when I think about it, stores a hell of a lot of items. You receive these items in bonus games, chests found in levels, in letters from the Princess, or in Toad’s Mushroom Houses. It can really come in handy when you find yourself getting your butt kicked by a particularly rough level.

I usually don't use any of these things, but it's nice to have them.

The original Mario’s two-player mode was pretty shallow, with one player taking his turn only when the other has lost a life. This game takes two-player to a new level, with one player taking his turn when the other has either died or completed a level. Also new to the game is the ability to hijack the other player’s turn in a thrilling two-player battle royale reminiscent of the original arcade game Mario Bros. In this mode, the players have the ability to steal the other player’s turn if he dies. A play can also defeat 5 enemies to secure the victory and resume play. An interesting addition to this mode is the ability to steal your opponent’s cards, which can inch you ever closer to securing the coveted 5-life bonus that you receive when you possess 3 star cards.

Yes, despite the advancements of Super Mario Bros. 2, Luigi was right back to being nothing more than Mario's clone.

The card system adds a bit of depth to the game, with the goal at the end of every level giving you one of three possible cards – the Mushroom, the Flower, and the Star. When you’ve collected three cards, the game awards you one of four prizes: one life, two lives, three lives, or five lives. One if you don’t have matching cards, two if the cards are all mushrooms, three if they’re flowers, and five if they’re all stars. I don’t know if this is intentional or not, but they made it pretty easy to get star cards; all you have to do is run full speed into the side of the block at the end of the level.

Also making their debuts are neat little bonus games. The first you’ll probably encounter is a matching game, in which three panels alternate quickly between parts for a mushroom, flower and star. There are two mushroom parts in each panel. Your job, as you can probably tell, is to make the panels form one of the three possible shapes. The payout works similar to the card system – a mushroom yields 2 lives, a flower 3, and a star 5. This time around, though, if you can’t match the panels at all, you are sent away with nothing. No consolation prizes here.

The second bonus game comes in the form of a card-matching game, in which you are told to flip cards and match identical cards. For each match you make, you are awarded with the item pictured on the cards in your inventory. For example, if you match a pair of cards with stars on them, you can find a star in your inventory after the bonus game is over to give yourself invincibility for the next level you visit. If you match a couple of 1-Up cards, you get an extra life, etc.

The Powerups! My God, what have I been doing? SMB3 plays host to some of the most memorable abilities in the Mario series. Starting with the basics, Mario has the ability to grow, as always, and the familiar Fire Flower makes its comeback here. However, look beyond that, and this game features totally new outfits and abilities for Mario to try out. Take for instance, the Super Leaf, which gives Mario the ears and tail of a raccoon, and the inexplicable ability to fly. Also making their Mario debuts are the Hammer B

ro Suit, the Frog Suit, and the Tanooki Suit. The Hammer Bro Suit is my personal favorite, as it gives you the ability to throw hammers a la the hated Hammer Brothers, and a protective shell that really comes in handy when you press down to crouch. The Frog Suit tends to be the most useless, mostly due to the fact that there are only a few water-based levels in the game. You are given prolific swimming ability when underwater, but when Mario goes on land, his ability to walk is hindered greatly. The Tanooki Suit is almost exactly like the Raccoon Suit, except for the fact that this suit gives Mario the ability to turn into a statue when the player crouches and presses B at the same time. This ability makes Mario capable of defeating almost every enemy, including Thwomps and Roto-Discs.

Fat guy + flight = unforgettable.

The bosses in the game are a tad repetitive, with Boom Booms at the end of every fortress and not much changing from battle to battle besides the landscape. Boom Boom does acquire the ability to fly in the later levels, but frankly, the strategy for defeating him remains unchanged throughout the whole game. Bowser’s back, of course, except this time you don’t get to see him until the very end of the game. Instead of being faced with Bowser in every trip to a flying fortress, you are treated to meeting his Koopa Kids, with each more sinister than the last. Granted, most of the battles with these offspring of the Koopa King are similar, but a few really stand out as really memorable. Wendy O. Koopa, for instance, fires beams that not are not only unpredictable, but permanent as well; they stick around and keep bouncing of the walls of the stage. Lemmy Koopa also makes for an intense boss battle, as he releases a beach ball that travels in a manner similar to Wendy’s beams when he’s hit. And the last two Koopa Kids, Roy and Ludwig Von Koopa, are so heavy that when they jump or fall, they create an earthquake so jarring that it renders Mario helpless for a few seconds. And then of course, there’s King Bowser himself, whose body weight you must use to gain the advantage. As he jumps around the level, you must goad him into landing on the soft brick floor below you, chipping away at it until Bowser falls through, resulting in a tremendous “CRASH” and your march to victory.

It is there that you’re greeted with one of the weakest endings in video game history. Peach, who has been in captivity for what I assume to be months, simply walks up to Mario and proceeds to deliver the following atom bomb of a “thank you”:

Thank you. But our Princess is in another castle!...Just kidding! Ha ha ha! Bye bye.

My God. The guy just spent all of his being to come and rescue you, and you have the gall to crack a stupid tasteless joke like that? Talk about ungrateful. But with Mario being Mario, I would assume that would be enough for him.

Well, there you have it. Super Mario Bros. 3. This is considered by many to be the greatest game of the franchise, and I, for one, am in that camp. It’s the pinnacle of the series, with all the goofiness and over-the-top antics that many have come to expect from the Mario series. Few games have since come close to the sheer enjoyment that this game brings. With that, it’s time to wrap this baby up. Expect Super Mario World to be the subject of the next installment of Mario: A Retrospective.

A Mario Retrospective - Part II

Welcome to a multiple-part retrospective of the Mario series, starting with Super Mario Bros. and working its way to the latest Mario adventure, Super Mario Galaxy. It will only cover core games in the Mario series. Spinoffs will not be included. This is Part 2.

Super Mario Bros. 2 and Super Mario USA

Many hardcore Mario fans are perfectly aware that the Super Mario Bros. 2 that we in the USA know is not what was originally intended to be Super Mario Bros. 2. For that reason, many video game enthusiasts consider the American version of Super Mario Bros. 2 to be the weakest in the Mario series. I differ in opinion; the game is just as good as any other in the Mario series, although it’s a bit different. Ok. VERY different.

We’ll start with the original Japanese version of Super Mario Bros. 2. Released on June 3, 1986, the game didn’t see American soil until well into the ‘90s, when it was included in Super Mario All-Stars. The game was almost exactly like its predecessor in terms of graphics, and in terms of gameplay, it featured a faster, higher-jumping Luigi. New elements not found in the first game included windstorms, poison mushrooms, and subtle changes in physics. Not much was different this time around except for the fact that the game was hard. Really, really hard. This worried Nintendo, who feared that American gamers would feel frustrated by the game’s intense difficulty. So instead of going ahead and releasing the game, they took another Shigeru Miyamoto-designed game, Doki Doki Panic, and Mariofied it.

Doki Doki Panic, originally released for the Famicom Disk System, was a game that featured four family members on a quest to save a couple of kids from the kidnapper Wart. At a glance, the game seems totally unfit to be a Mario game – the only Mario-esque element from the game is the Starman, which gives the family invincibility for a short time, perhaps paying homage to Miyamoto’s earlier game Super Mario Bros.

Doki Doki Panic

Whatever the case, the game was given a face lift, Mario style. The four family members from the original were replaced with Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad. Items were replaced with elements from the original Mario game, most of them being mushrooms. Interesting to note here is the enemies are all unchanged from the original Panic, with the exception of a new boss, Clawgrip. Also added to the game was the ability to dash, an essential Mario element that gave the game new depth and playability. The music was changed a bit, though the change proved to be a big difference, as the music from SMB2 is some of my favorite in the series.

Super Mario Bros. 2
Image taken from Wikipedia

The story here has also changed a bit from the original Panic. In the original, a couple of kids are sucked into the land of SubCon while reading a book, and it’s up to the family of four to save them. In SMB2, Mario has a dream in which he is called by the people of Subcon to rescue the land from Wart. Mario awakens and hears the same voice calling him, and ventures with his friends into the land of Subcon.

So, let’s recap here – the game is actually an alternate version of two games.

But that’s not to say the game doesn’t have its own little charm. I still love playing SMB2 to this very day, and it continues to rank up there with the best Mario games of them all. The story behind this game is really convoluted and frustrating, so that makes it one of the most interesting games in the Mario series so far.

Unfortunate

Due to an unforeseen case of food poisoning, I won't be able to post anything today (except this notification, of course). Needless to say, the events from yesterday evening and this morning have me developing an aversion to food. I hope, if all goes well, you'll still see the fat, jolly Martin and not the skinny, pissed off anorexic Martin next time you see me. Honestly, without food, my life is nothing, and this event has to be the biggest test of my life.

Now excuse me while I go throw up.

A Mario Retrospective - Part I

Welcome to a multiple-part retrospective of the Mario series, starting with Super Mario Bros. and working its way to the latest Mario adventure, Super Mario Galaxy. It will only cover the core games in the Mario series. Spinoffs will not be included. This is Part 1.

Super Mario Bros.

Mario’s plumbing/adventuring career began with the legendary Super Mario Bros., a launch title for the Nintendo Entertainment System. It was a simple yet engaging game that jump-started the ailing video game industry and is considered by many to be the greatest game of all time.

Recent experience tells me that that may no longer be the case, but this game still holds a special place in my heart. It’s one of the first (and finest) games I’ve ever played, and I find myself playing it over and over again to this day. My question: what makes the game so damn special? The following is an exploration of the game as a whole, examining its individual elements.

You can't tell me you don't remember this.

The most essential part of any game is its story. Not really whether it’s a good story or not, but just that it has one. The Mario Bros.’s first foray into Mushroom Kingdom savior-hood actually has a pretty interesting story. Bowser, the King of the Koopas, takes over the Mushroom Kingdom by turning its denizens, the Mushroom People, into blocks, mushrooms, and multiple other weird knick knacks. Only Princess Peach, the Mushroom King’s daughter, can undo the spell, and Bowser kidnaps her to prevent her interference in the matter. Little does Bowser know that the humble plumber duo, Mario and Luigi, are the only ones with the courage to save the princess and take on the evil Koopa Clan.

Sure, it sounds like standard fairy tale fare, but compared to some of the subsequent storylines in the Mario series, it’s by far the most original (Ignore Super Mario Bros. 2). Not only is this where we witness the transformation of the Bros. from plumbers to full-fledged heroes, but there’s an actual reason Bowser has kidnapped the princess.

By now, most basic elements in the Mario series seem like nothing new. However, twenty-three years ago, nobody had heard of walking mushrooms, giant turtles whose shells were oh-so-kickable or an Italian man who could shoot fireballs. Every element we’ve seen in Mario games over the years has originated in this game. Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Piranha Plants, Hammer Bros., you name it – it all started here.

The sound is something special here, too. I get chills every time I hear the sound of Mario going down a pipe or collecting a Magic Mushroom, causing him to grow. Everybody recognizes the classic Mario theme music, which we first heard in this game. In fact, every bit of music in this game is as recognizable today (maybe even more) as it ever was. To be perfectly honest, every single bit of sound in this game is some of the most influential in video game history.

The graphics of the game, compared to some of today’s, are a bit outdated. Granted, this was when the modern video game era was in its infancy, so the graphics designers can be given a little slack here. For the time, they were some of the best anybody had seen. For one, this was the first game to take part in more than one screen, and was one of the first to feature scrolling landscapes. The color palette of the NES was out in full force here, and for many the capabilities of the system were amazing. I think the only complaint I have here is that the princess’s sprite looks like it came out of the circus or something.

Uhh...let's be friends and call it a night.

All in all, Super Mario Bros. is considered to be one of the most influential games of all time, and can be considered the game that single-handedly revived a dying video game industry. Though the entire package looked a bit modest, it nevertheless delivered a gameplay experience that launched a thousand games and is imprinted into gamers’ minds the world over.

A Perusal of the Lesser Mario Brother

Two of the most recognizable characters in video game history are, of course, the Super Mario Bros. There’s gaming icon Mario, star f countless games and recognizable the world over. Luigi, Mario’s younger but taller brother, is arguably just as famous. The pairing of these two legends goes back to 1983, when modern console gaming was only an afterthought; the video game crash from earlier in the decade rendered home consoles all but obsolete. The two would pair up again in 1985’s Super Mario Bros., revitalizing the video game industry. The two have been considered saviors of the industry and are revered by many worldwide.

My favorite video game character would definitely have to be Mario. His games have brought me loads of enjoyment. But honestly, I believe that the better character of the two is Luigi. Yes, you read that right.

Let’s face facts here – Mario’s a likeable character and all, but he’s boring. He’s courageous, jovial – all around he’s a wonderful person, but he seems to be lacking any sort of humanity. In most games his courage is unwavering. He seems almost like a robot.

But where Mario lacks any depth, Luigi takes the cake in terms of being an interesting character. Unlike his older brother, he’s an absolute fraidy-cat. Luigi’s Mansion is where his personality really started to shine. He was trapped in a huge mansion in search of his brother, and it was all he could do not to cry out in terror every waking moment of his stay. Luigi’s nervous humming throughout the game really drew me to the character – his quirk was his most endearing quality. After LM, Luigi retained his cowardly tendencies, though sometimes it made him seem like a wuss. If you need proof, pop in any installment of the Super Smash Bros. series and check out his moveset.

Case in point.

From LM, the development of Luigi’s personality skyrocketed. He developed his trademark goofy walk, which can be seen in prevalent titles like New Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Galaxy. His voice, deeper than Mario’s, is now ingrained into his being, now no longer replaced with high-pitched voiceovers like in Super Smash Bros. Melee and the Japanese version of Mario Kart 64. And, most notably, his irrational fear of EVERYTHING makes him a delight to watch in tense situations (Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga comes to mind).

Sometimes, however, things are taken a bit too far, and it’s difficult to take Luigi seriously as a character. He’s constantly trampled under the feet of others, inconceivably wimpy when it comes to saving the day, and, as such, remains perennially trapped in his brother’s shadow. I’m not saying you should make Luigi into Mario. I’m just saying, maybe Luigi wouldn’t be such an underdog if his creators didn’t go overboard with the “wimpiness” thing. He’s a Mario Brother for God’s sake, not Scooby-Doo.

Sizzlin'

Boy, do I love being stuck studying for finals right in the middle of record-breaking heat. Somebody please kill me.

Smashing!

About two months ago, the highly anticipated title Super Smash Bros. Brawl was released to rave reviews, riding high on its wave of hype. Everyone, including me, was enthralled with the game, and hailed it as one of the great games of this era. Now that the months have passed, it’s time for me to act ala William Wordsworth and reflect on this moment of intense emotion in a later moment of tranquility (for those of you unfamiliar with Wordsworth, don’t worry about it; it’s an English major thing). It felt to me like something was missing from the game.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a Nintendo fanboy. That won’t change anytime soon. But even a fanboy can have his doubts.

I loved Super Smash Bros. Brawl. It was everything I hoped it would be. It was fun. The character roster was huge. The items, stages, and the game-changing Smash Ball made things unpredictable and intense. All in all, the game, in my book, would definitely be considered one of the finest ever.

But something felt wrong to me. It was an uneasy experience, let me tell you. It hurt me to even consider those emotions and associate them with a Nintendo game.

Let’s start with the single-player mode. Mario and Kirby are having a friendly game of let’s-beat-the-crap-out-of-each-other (like the intro to the first game, no?). Everything goes to hell, and what ensues is an epic quest to find some guy with butterfly wings and kick his ass for some reason. Fair enough.

The first few levels in the game are pretty cool. Colorful stages, bumpin’ music, fun enemies. Mario and Pit team up. Pretty cool.

But after a while, you realize it’s this way for pretty much the whole game, except the bright colors and bumpin’ music make way for dank underground levels with boring, repetitive music (why did they use the music from the underground levels of Super Mario Land? The rest of the music from that game was much better). The enemies start to get harder to beat, but rather than adding an element of challenge to the game, it instead gets a little tiring.

The last level was kind of a pain, as well. You pretty much have to go through every level from the entire game, killing the same enemies over and over as you rescue your friends by beating the hell out of them. The first couple of characters I rescued were fun to get, but after about the 15^th guy it gets a little tiring. Once you’ve finally kicked the last ass, it’s time to find the final boss, Tabuu.

But hold on a second, here. Before the final boss battle begins, you’re treated to a CG video in which Sonic the Hedgehog pops up for no apparent reason. Did he really get through the trials that Mario and about 30 other characters worked their butts off to get through? If that’s the case, then I’ve wasted my time. Way to make my accomplishments look meaningless.

Well, with Sonic’s little cameo out of the way, you’re finally allowed to take on Tabuu, who is pretty much Master Hand on steroids. I fought the guy about three times (my game got reset by a certain guy who will remain nameless), and all three times he took out about 3 of my 5 characters. He’s got some killer moves, with at least one being a guaranteed KO. I’m sure on a few more playthroughs he’ll be a little less hard to beat.

I have to admit the ending scene and the credits were really cool.

Now, moving on, I’ll come to the characters themselves. I was pleased with most of the character choices. But a few disappointed me a little. I don’t know why they even bothered to put the Ice Climbers in Melee, let alone why they brought them back for Brawl. Two characters from an obscure, crappy game for the NES have no business being among gaming’s elite. What’s next, the Balloon Fight guy in Smash Bros. Fracas (or whatever synonym for “fight” they’ve got lined up next)? If they could get Sonic and Solid Snake into the game, why couldn’t they get someone from like Mega Man or Ryu from Street Fighter in there? I’d rather see that than the Ice Climbers or ROB. Those guys are better suited to be Assist Trophies, anyhow. Hell, I would have taken King Hippo over those guys. He’s got all of that Nintendo personality.

Seeing Sonic in the game was a pleasant surprise, although it kinda felt like they crammed him in there at the last minute (which I think they did). They could have done some pretty cool things with him in the Subspace Emissary mode, but instead he just pops up out of nowhere right before you fight the last boss. That’s evidence enough for me that they didn’t intend to include Sonic in the first place.

Upon grabbing a Smash Ball, each character has the ability to execute his or her Final Smash attack, a spectacular move that one would do best to avoid. Each character in the game has a unique Final Smash, with the exception of a few characters, i.e. clones. Fox, Falco and Wolf all have the ability to summon and control a Landmaster Tank as their Final Smash. While it is fun to annihilate your friends with said tank, it nevertheless makes me wonder why you couldn’t call for an Arwing, a more recognizable symbol of the Star Fox franchise. If Capt. Falcon can keep his Blue Falcon, why not keep one of the most memorable elements of Star Fox? Both Link and Toon Link havea crazy, kick-ass combo as their Final Smash. Those Final Smashes are tons of fun to execute, but I can’t help but think that Toon Link could use his power over wind a little more.

But the character selection is, overall, excellent. There isn’t really anything about the Final Smashes that could possibly bring the game down as a whole. Clone characters were prevalent in Melee as well, but different enough to create a unique playing experience. The same can be said here.

The Wii’s graphical ability has been a cause for criticism in the recent console wars, but honestly, some characters don’t need to look like real people. Take, for example, my favorite plumbing pair, the Mario Bros. They’re supposed to look goofy. They’re supposed to look cartoonish. What I got in Brawl was two brothers with washed-out clothes that, to me, really messed with the overall character design. The Mario in Melee looked detailed, but just enough so that he could retain his cartoonish character design. If you make a Mario that looks too detailed, you’ll eventually end up with something like this. Seeing the Bros. like this really took that familiar Nintendo feel away.

Perhaps my favorite part of playing Melee was hearing the fantastic and varied music for each level. Listening to some of that music really picked me up. Brawl does have some fantastic music, but it comes in such a large volume some of it sounds a bit generic and uninspired. Most notable to me is the music from Pokemon, which pretty much all sounds the same. Kirby seemed to have the best music in Brawl, which is no surprise since Masahiro Sakurai, the game’s director, is the creator or Kirby. Honestly, this game’s rendition of the King Dedede theme is some of the best game music I’ve ever heard.

Also prevalent in Melee were the amazing orchestral renditions of classic game music. But this time around, I counted two original orchestral pieces: the main theme and the Fire Emblem theme. The rest of the orchestral pieces were taken from earlier games and labeled “original”. They all sounded fantastic, but I sorta expected a little more.

I dunno. This game was awesome. Honestly, it’s one of the best I’ve played in a long time. But it seems to be missing that soul that has been in all the Nintendo games I’ve played before. Some of the main causes are listed abov, but for all I know, I may just be growing out of video games. Since I played Brawl, my gaming life seemed a little off. Perhaps it’s just a little bump in the road, and when I pop Smash back into the Wii when I’m home from college, all those doubts will be washed away.

Blue Redemption

I hate Sonic the Hedgehog.
I hate his stupid guts.

You’ll understand that I needed to get that out of the way quickly. Keep in mind also that though I am a Mario fanboy, I nevertheless have a legitimate reason to hate him. Yes, the Blue Blur has become one of gaming’s biggest laughingstocks over the last decade or so, but there was a time when Sonic was once associated with “excellence”. A few examples: Sonic 1, 2, 3, and that epic pairing of Sonic 3 and Knuckles. Few games have surpassed or even come close the quality of those games. I loved that spiky little jerk with all my heart. I loved talking about what kick-ass things you could do and how Robotnik’s nailbiting boss battles were the one thing I looked forward to when I turned on my Genesis.

But now I look at that blue bastard, and a rage is instilled within me that makes me want to puke my Goddamn guts out. Everything he ever meant to me is now a distant memory. All he once stood for now means nothing. How did it ever get to be this way?

Well, for one, after a while, I couldn’t afford anything new. The Sega CD, the Sega Saturn, all that crazy stuff – were completely out of my reach. If my memory serves me correctly, all I had to go on from 1993-1995 were Game Boy games, with the occasional crappy third-party Genesis game in between. But then came late 1995, when my parents got me the system that permanently altered the course of my life – the Super NES. Our NES had broken some time before, so Mario and his pals were long absent from my life. But the magical holiday season of 1995 turned my life around. I will forever remember those couple of weeks as some of the best of my life. We took a trip out to New Mexico to see my grandparents, and beforehand, my father forbade me from taking the SNES with me. Keep in mind that this is happening Christmas Morning, the very day I received that blessed machine. Well, we get to New Mexico, and lo and behold! My father had actually caved and decided it was ok to take the system with us. It goes without saying that that trip was enjoyable in every sense of the word.

So Mario makes his triumphant return, and from here on Sonic only makes occasional appearances in my life. The years passed by, and so did the systems – the N64 and the Game Boy Color had come and gone, each with its own attached special memories – and then came the Nintendo GameCube. With only Luigi’s Mansion to satiate my Mario addiction for that first year or so, I needed something to fill that gap in the meantime. It was subsequently announced that Sonic would soon be arriving on the system in the form of Sonic Adventure 2, a game I had never played before. The reviews for the Dreamcast version were great, so I held out hope for redemption. The little guy would soon be making his triumphant return to the life of Martin. But I was wrong.

The game sucked. Sucked, sucked, sucked. I paid sixty dollars for a thin, rectangular lump of human feces. The entire game, excepting the optimism-inducing first level, made me want to unscrew my head, remove my brain, and light it on fire. It was a glitchy, loveless piece of crap with no soul to speak of. Sonic’s vibrant, colorful worlds had made way for dark, lifeless “courses” that had too little checkpoints and too many Goddamned ways to die along the way. It hurt my soul to play that game. I was glad that Shadow died.*

But in a well-timed move, Sega soon released Sonic Mega Collection for the ‘Cube, and it really opened my eyes to how much fun the old Sonic games were. The colors, the music, the gameplay – everything was tied together perfectly. It really helped that I got the game during a particularly enjoyable visit to New Mexico. Even after all those years, the Genesis titles were still just as fun.

For some reason, my masochistic instincts compelled me to purchase Sonic Adventure DX and Sonic Heroes. Let me just take this moment to say FUCK YOU, SEGA.

I was lucky not to have owned an Xbox 360 or a PS3 when Sonic the Hedgehog came out. I was too busy having FUN with titles like Zelda, Twilight Princess and Wii Sports. Seriously, Sega. Another Goddamn hedgehog is gonna solve your problems?

A side note: While the main console Sonic games sucked, it is nevertheless worth mentioning that 3 VERY excellent Game Boy Advance games featuring our blue hero were released among all this crap.

Then things started to get scary. Sonic started appearing in Mario games. No. Not just Mario games. MEDIOCRE Mario games. His crappiness had started to carry over to my refuge. My Goddamn sanctuary was no longer safe. Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games was a Sega-developed game, and one could easily tell. The game felt completely thrown together with no thought or love whatsoever. It was insulting.

Well, the point is this: Sonic used to be good, then he took a mean-ass dive. I took that personally. My heart had been broken.

But now comes this trailer for Sonic Unleashed, or whatever bullcrap name it’s called. To be honest, the trailer was amazing (But I wasn’t crazy about the mind-numbingly stupid “Wolf Sonic” bullcrap). The levels looked fun. The levels were colorful; the colors I had marveled over in the past were now back in full force. And it was just Sonic. Nobody else. Not even Tails. But I know Sega all too well after our little affair in the past. They have something here that could possibly rejuvenate the Sonic franchise, but I know deep down in my heart that they’ll find a way to fuck it all up. “Wolf Sonic” is an early indication of that.

And so I stick my nose in the air and say, “Poo-poo!” to you, Sega, you worthless, money-grubbing pigs. “Poo-poo” as in I thought your games played like “poo-poo”. “Sonic Unleashed” will never be a part of my life unless you can make that bitch great.

I mean it. That game had better put Mario Galaxy to shame. No kidding.

Welcome

This is Plumber's Log. This was a blog created by a gamer who just wants to offer his take on the industry. It may be interesting, it may be boring. We'll see. Anyway. I'll get a few posts up, see if anybody likes it, then see where I can go from there. Enjoy.